just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
