Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
