why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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