I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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