are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
