Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
