Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
