he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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