There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize