Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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