Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
