I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
