After last night, I could never be a politician.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
