Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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