I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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