so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
