I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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