take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
