So drunk its hurt
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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