well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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