He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
