rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
