In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
dude. I can hear the air.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
