we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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