Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
