i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
its not stalking. its research.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
