The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
