i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
