Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
