we have officially lost it.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
