I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
