Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you had me at cake vodka
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
