My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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