dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
