You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
