You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
