My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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