we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
