Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Of course I have a pirate flag
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
