were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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