so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
