He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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