I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
