I wish I could teleport
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
