would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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