We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
