IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
not ubering you a puppy
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
