I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
