he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
