I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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