i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
