So drunk its hurt
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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