i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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