I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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