I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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