i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You took a bar mat shot.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm always down for nudity.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
