His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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