You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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