I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
