I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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