He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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